The Lindsay Clancy case brings forth a tsunami of discussion about coercive control, narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, and the weaponization of psychiatric and legal systems. This happens to be the core subject matter I have focused on in my writings since 2000.
What strikes me about this increased awareness worldwide is the language people are beginning to use to describe the impact of being in a narcissistically abusive relationship.
People are describing how one is systematically drawn into self-doubt, annihilation of personal rights, and loss of one’s inner wisdom… all essentially pointing to the way a narcissistically abusive relationship can destroy your very self from the inside out.
If you have ever been in one of these relationships, you know exactly what I’m referring to here.
Meditation and Narcissistic Abuse
Many people reading my essays (my eInsights, as I have affectionately called them) have concluded that I turned to meditation to deal with the stress and inner deterioration arising from living in a narcissistically abusive relationship. But I actually think it is the other way around.
Meditation is what kept me connected to the aspect of myself that my ex could not touch. It allowed me to drink from the well of wellbeing daily and, as a result, afforded me incredible resiliency.
The practice did not arise from the abuse as a way to cope with it. It was already part of me, providing a place within myself to which I could return again and again. And perhaps that is what mattered most. At a time when the relationship was continually pulling me away from my own perception, inner wisdom and sense of self, meditation kept returning me to myself. There remained an inner ground of reality that the abuse did not overtake.
I had been meditating a full decade before entering that relationship. My meditation practice was well established, remained steady throughout my time with this person, and continues to this day. In fact, there are times during and after meditating when I wonder why more people don’t give themselves the gift of this utter joy and ecstasy.
Meditation Scorn
This person I’m referring to hated my meditation practice. He used the fact that I meditated as his alleged basis for seeking sole custody of our three minor children. Interestingly, though, nothing was actually litigated during those four years of legal stalking. What was accomplished was the positioning of the courts to re-victimize me with the threat of stripping me of my freedom and parental rights.
This was strategically done to discredit the court’s findings of spousal and child abuse, with the threat of weaponized institutionalization becoming part of that effort. Saving face became the order of the day for years…into decades.
I used to think he hated my meditating because it gave me time to myself. But I suspect what he really hated was that, because of the meditation, his arrows did not pierce me and his hooks did not cripple me, denying him the satisfaction he seemed to take in knowing when he did indeed hurt me.
Why Meditate
Over the last couple of decades, I have been teaching patients in abusive relationships how to meditate. What amazes me almost every time is how this changes the person’s relationship to the abuse they are subjected to in their homes.
It’s like building a fortress from within while discovering the sanctuary that is already there. It’s why I named our website InnerSanctuaryOnline.org.
If you are living in one of these toxic relationships, my prayer for you is that you learn to meditate. And over time, you come to discover the grace, peace, and inner strength that this practice provides.
If you want help learning to meditate or deepening your meditation practice, you can reserve time here: https://innersanctuaryonline.org/spousal-abuse-help/
Or if you simply want to ask a question, you can find me here: https://partners-in-prevention.org/contact/
©2026 Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist
Domestic Violence | Trauma, Coercive Control, and Family Systems Dynamics
Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people worldwide recognize, end, and heal from narcissistic domestic abuse.