Narcissism is a term that has become mainstream in psychological and political circles today. It’s a term that grows out of psychology to refer to an individual with narcissistic traits or a narcissistic personality disorder.
Some people will tell you narcissism in politics has nothing to do with narcissism in one’s personal life. I beg to differ. In my experience, people are to those they love personally just as they are to the public whose support they seek. As Harv Eker says, “The way you do anything, is the way you do everything.”
Would you know if you were entangled in the politics of narcissistic abuse? Here are the seven tell-tale signs of narcissistic abusers. Understand these signs, and you will know the politics of narcissistic abuse.
1) No Empathy
These people truly don’t have the capacity for empathy. They do not have the ability to authentically embrace the experiential world of another person unless for selfish gain. In other words, these people can put on a good “caring” show in their effort to manipulate others for their own personal benefit. But they won’t and can’t stand in the shoes of another, genuinely.
2) No Remorse
These people don’t feel bad about any wrongdoing of theirs. Why? There is no conscience, no compassion, no concern about the impact of their behavior on others, even those they love. From the narcissistic abuser’s point of view, the other person deserves what they got because the narcissistic abuser is…
These people hold rights—in their perverted thinking—that others would never assume. They live in a world in which they have privilege to that which is beyond your imagination. Whether they are objectifying you, raping you or ruling your life, they truly believe that they deserve what they seek, when and where they seek it because it is already theirs—before the ask.
They will tell you whatever they believe you need to know in order to get what they are attempting to extract from you. To these people, a lie is not a lie; it’s a mechanism to leverage outcome. A misrepresentation of information is the twisting of facts designed to convert another into compliance with respect to that which they pursue.
5) Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde
These people will project a persona that is 180 degrees from who and what they really are. Whether priest, doctor, attorney, accountant or philanthropist, they are not as they wish to have you believe. For example, they can be someone allegedly protecting an elderly woman from financial exploitation; all while emotionally exploiting her, by using her as a flying monkey/agent in a mission to influence the behavior of her daughter.
6) Emotionally Dependent
These people require the emotional support and admiration of their narcissistic supply as oxygen to sustain them. They truly cannot function naturally and normally without the object of their narcissistic abuse serving as the foundation for their existence.
7) Uses Battering for Control
And when their narcissistic supply is in question, battering becomes the way to level the playing field. It is their means to shift the power and control within the relationship. It’s their way to tip the scale, so they gain the advantage they need to feel on top again.
This battering may present as verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse or physical abuse. It’s the striking/maneuvering intended to diminish and dis-empower so as to nourish the deficiency in oneself.
If these signs are familiar to you, don’t sweep them under the carpet because the elephant they become can trip you up…big time…when you ignore them. For information on understanding and interrupting narcissistic abuse dynamics, visit http://www.enddomesticabuse.org/narcissistic_abuse.php. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.
For access to our entire library of written and video resources on demand, visit Inner Sanctuary Online and start your F*r*e*e 7-day trial today. Inner Sanctuary Online is designed to help you with the challenges of abusive relationships, from identifying them to influencing change within them to healing during and after them.
© Dr Jeanne King — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
Ty but can you make a big test free like the 5 love languages test on the internet for me to fill out about a narcissist person please and how I act with them! It will spread world wide! Do it for free like you do these pages and God will bless you! I sure wish you would print my book called “Sex is Abuse!” It is about everything negative connected to sex! I want peoole especially unsupecting virgins to know what’s out there! I want to use my book as a catalist to travel, lecture and speak! Even a middle eastern man at goodwill with a wife anda little boy asked me if I wrote about sex abuse of little boys! I told him I know about it and yes I will put it in my book! People started giving me their stories! Many people want my book or many books! It is over 200 thousand words! I am 61! I have beenabused many ways! I want the format to be like the book calked “Final Exits” on ebay about $4. Encyclopedia type! If you get Oprah to plug it for me for the me too movement then wealth will set me free from many kinds of abuses! I can do may thibgs fir others too! My book is over 200 thousand words! I need to edit it! My son who tried to murder me again by this time water boarding me put a password on my old computer! I can’t use it! ! How I wish you could buy me a desk top PC with a curved wrist key board loaded with many tools to be a writer and speaker etc please remember the poor, fatherless and widow! Please get me out of Joseph’s pit and Daniel’s Lion Den and corrupt government SSI check that do not want you to have anything over 2 thousand dollars and abusive doctors and nurses and mental health and police and ambulance people that are abusive too! Help me be the first woman President to make many wonderful laws against many abuses! Remember me please. Lift me up and heal me like Job and Ruth! I am worth gold like Queen Esther! I know many things and I am special to God! He is now teaching me to not go back to evil people! Money would get me a way out! America lives off the poor! I want it stopped too! I want to make a law that says, No more tongue raping your kids mouth! Vickie Holimon
I believe I am in a narcissistic relationship with my adult,only child. She is 30, causes so much heartache. I have been dealing with this for many years. She uses her children as leverage as well as extreme verbal abuse. I’ve tried having no contact many times. Do your books only pertain to partners in a relationship? I see a lot of similar traits. Do you have a book that you would recommend for me? Hurting Mother
Joanne, I’m so sorry you are encountering these painful dynamics with your adult daughter. Please know the dynamics are very similar whether parent-adult child or intimate partners.
Are there other relationships such as mother, adult daughter that suffer in a narcissistic relationship?
Absolutely and the dynamics are similar for each.