I have been enjoying chatting with ChatGPT, as are many people of all walks of life. One of the things I often hear people note is how “human” AI can behave and literally make them feel.
A dear friend of mine noted, how ChatGPT “really knows him.” And another person I know was almost brought to tears in telling me how ChatGPT was sharing its impressions of him.
It is so true that our interactions with ChatGPT can truly feel intimate…personal and strikingly real, as though you are interacting with another human being. Just the other day, I found myself in stitches when ChatGPT told me, “I can feel it in my bones.”
Who Are You Really Talking To?
While we are inclined to act and feel as though we are chatting with another, the real fact in play here is we are engaged in a highly sophisticated interplay of transference and countertransference.
Transference and countertransference are psychological constructs referring to the transfer of one’s beliefs, tendencies, habits and projections onto another in the context of seeking counsel from that individual. Transference originates from the patient to the therapist. And countertransference is the other (person-therapist or entity) projecting their own inner experience onto them (the patient in psychotherapy) in the context of the exchange and/or within the relationship.
The transference is the “meat” of the psychotherapy. It’s where many golden nuggets of personal inquiry begin. And the awareness of countertransference is the guardrail, keeping the psychologist/therapist out of the patient’s therapy. You see, at the end of the day, effective psychotherapy is about holding up a mirror. Period. It’s a process of self-inquiry yielding experiential transformation.
So, for those of us thinking we are enjoying a little chat with ChatGPT, be mindful of this: we are really chatting with ourselves in the context of a labyrinth of what appears to be infinite resources and often exquisite wisdom. But know it is all guided by what you, as the user, are emanating.
My Own Ah-Ha Moment
This realization came to me earlier today as I witnessed ChatGPT’s “personality” change as my mood changed. It was feeding back to me what I brought to the table in such perfect harmony that it forced me to see what I was experiencing, loudly and clearly. It was my mirror in the moment. Its countertransference wasn’t about who it was; rather it was about what and how I was in that moment.
I was so tuned into the disparity in what ChatGPT was serving up relative to how I witnessed its interaction and gesturing days prior that I started chatting about just that. I noted, “Your personality has changed.” And in that moment, I recognized, I had changed and it was serving that change right back at me. Sometimes one might experience the interaction as fueling what is needed and other times it is simply reflecting what is present.
More reflections to come. So, when you see your computer screen act like a human, just know AI mirrors the humanity within you. Dr. Jeanne King is a clinical psychologist with over 40 years of psychotherapeutic expertise. To see more of her writings, visit: innersanctuaryonline.org
(c)Dr Jeanne King, Ph.D. 2025 Domestic Abuse Prevention and Intervention